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Malabeth, Priestess of "She" by =bpkri:iconbpkri:



The scenery, drenched in cold light, a tall figure slowly peels herself out of the darkness beyond. A female, as the curves show, about 6'2" tall. Her slow movements have something predatory, a hint of held back power.

Then her face becomes visible. Red eyes gleaming from ebony-colored skin, with white hair and brows. The red of her eyes is slightly dulled by a grey haze, the glance is fascinating, yet warning. The whole expression of her fine, elven features beckons and holds a warning at the same time. There is power in her face, her movements and body, but just enough that it adds to her beauty rather than detracting from it. The powerful tension of a sleeping volcano.
Her thin white brows combined with her mesmerizing eyes, give her a slightly stern look, but the fine nose and slight smile mostly on her lips, turn this into something playful.

Her white hair has a few grey streaks dyed into it. It flows openly and rich down her back, to below her bottom. A wild mane of white and a few grey streaks. Some strands also fall over her forehead. At the upper back of her head, more of her rich hair is tied into a braid, towering the rest of her hair. It likewise flows down her back to unite with the rest.

The pointed ears, uncovered, apart from her built mark her as a drow.

As she steps forward - a movement like the wind before a thunderstorm - her body peels from the darkness. Soft muscles are visible under dark grey skin, giving her belly structure, complementing her female forms. There is not much covering her body.

Originating out of an oval clip below Malabeth's neck, a racy suit spreads down- and slightly outward. Her round breasts are nearly completely shrouded. Below her armpits, the white fabric creeps over her back, holding it in place over her round forms in front. Yet in the middle, a bit of skin is exposed from below the clip, spreading slightly as the suit caresses her breasts. Below them the white layer reduces downwards, leaving a rather thin strand extending towards another oval clip under her lower belly.    

The center of her front is left exposed, only slightly just below the upper clip, but widening to the extend of one palm, maybe even somewhat more just below her breast, staying at that extent to the end of her ribcage and then slowly thinning down again till the also thinning strands of her suit unite in the clip over her loin. The soft form of her ribcage is visible to the eye, the soft curve inwards to her waist, and the shape and structure of her belly and her navel. Her flanks are also completely exposed to the eye, as are slim arms and elegant hands. Hard to believe they carry a warhammer. White laced and fingerless gauntlets cling like a second skin to her hands, reaching barely beyond the wrists.
Not a single strap obscures the sight her sides and hips, except for under her arms. A soft hint of her hipbone is indicated under her flesh, and muscles move playfully. A close look and the right light even shows her ribs very slightly, but as the priestess is not skinny or fragile, no hard traces can be percieved, rather soft curves, only more obvious when she draws in her belly or arches and causes her skin to stretch over the bones.
Her long legs are firm, slim, but not overly so, able to display muscle, as shapely as the rest of her form, harmonizing with the rest of her body. Her feet are naked. A white lace ribbon clings to her left ankle.

From the clip below her neck metal "lightnings" strike out to the sides, keeping a slightly transparent cloak in place over her shoulder and falling down her back.
From the clip on her loin also thin lightnings strike out, keeping a long loin-piece of the white fabric falling between her legs. Another such lane flows down her lower back, under the cape, over her shapely bottom.

Both clips depict a slim, except for her eyes featureless woman with a warhammer in her right hand, swinging downwards, her hair flying wild. Her hand is stretched up, into the sky from where lighting strikes from heavy clouds. Below her the ground displayed is cracked. Looking closer, the eyes can discern heavy rain and ice, and traces of fire on the ground.

As much or little as the suit covers, the thin fabric, in contrast to her ebony skin conveys an idea of nakedness and Malabeth does not seem to care at all about it. Her proud glance does not falter, her sure movements do not stop, even when eyes fall upon her form and linger.

Ignoring the warnings comes with a high risk....
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Submitted: August 12, 2007
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Author's Comments

A second attempt at Malabeth. A more sexy "textual rendering" than the first. I took some inspiration as to her dress from here: [link] , so I have to say "Thank you" to Todd Lockwood. Of course I had to remve all Lolth / Spider imagery (little as there is) from that daring attire. And doing something like this in textual form is quite hard. I spend most of the weekend thinking before I wrote this piece in about two hours.

Too long?

I hope not. I have no comparison. and I still have details I want to add:
-some more facial details
-apparent age

This piece of text was created with jEdit and the spellchecker included in [link].

-- 15.08.2007 --

okay, I ded some modifications - small bits and pieces. Added some detail to the face, and feet and hands.

Devious Comments

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=bpkri:iconbpkri: Aug 13, 2007, 12:12:53 AM
Note to self: Heed my own tips on creating pieces of writing for reading on a screen rather than paper.

--
Behold the great fires consuming the forests. That is SHE.
Behold the great storms, raging in the skies. That is SHE.
Behold the earthquake, sundering man's cities. That is SHE.
Behold the great flood, consunming the land. That is SHE.
=Artheeria:iconArtheeria: Aug 13, 2007, 6:06:26 PM
It's fairly good. It's a little choppy though, where you ended sentences abruptly or didn't finish an idea... or finished one, but in the wrong wording or what not.

--
"If you can't be the best, than just be useful. Otherwise, I'll have to kill you."
~Assirra Xorlarrin
=bpkri:iconbpkri: Aug 13, 2007, 11:24:58 PM
Give me some examples to improve it? Some things of course were done on purpose, but there might be mistakes I am not aware of. :)

--
Behold the great fires consuming the forests. That is SHE.
Behold the great storms, raging in the skies. That is SHE.
Behold the earthquake, sundering man's cities. That is SHE.
Behold the great flood, consunming the land. That is SHE.
~Skyback:iconSkyback: Aug 14, 2007, 3:00:29 PM Mood: Joy
Very well done!

--
Do not judge the person on his friends! At Judas they were faultless!
=bpkri:iconbpkri: Aug 15, 2007, 2:39:13 AM
and I am still not satisfied.
Oh, I will have to take a little more time with Malabeth, ...if I only HAD the time.

--
Behold the great fires consuming the forests. That is SHE.
Behold the great storms, raging in the skies. That is SHE.
Behold the earthquake, sundering man's cities. That is SHE.
Behold the great flood, consunming the land. That is SHE.
*MiseryandAzaelyn:iconMiseryandAzaelyn: Aug 23, 2007, 11:21:38 PM
Very descriptive I'll give it that much. However this can be a problem as much as it can a good thing. Some of the descriptions had me scratching my head over as to what use they present in being described. The only reason I bring this up is that everything feels beautiful in my mind and suddenly there hits the snag of how her bones look and such that sort of throw off the feel.

There was also a typical problem writer's have in that the sentence structure seemed broken at parts which was caused in large part due to an over use in the comma. Something to watch out for in the future for its use.

Also beware that when you get as descriptive as you have that when you fail to do so in some sentences it shows. Example being:

Her long legs are firm, slim, but not overly so, able to display muscle, as shapely as the rest of her form, harmonizing with the rest of her body. Her feet are naked. A white lace ribbon clings to her left ankle.


Her feet are naked. That just stands out too suddenly as well as the white lace ribbon part to a lesser degree. Just some thing to watch out for.

Like I said though, your eye for detail is going to be a strong point you carry around. With it I imagine your imagination is quite free and holds no boundaries on where it might tread. Where most people see things in limits or boundaries, your not afraid to go past that which shows endless creativity.

Are you going to try your hand in story format I wonder?
=bpkri:iconbpkri: Aug 24, 2007, 2:13:30 AM
I will. I am going to write stories - in fact I already started one, but progress at the moment is slow. You are right, such detailed descriptions are rare, and in this case I used it really only to describe the character, to see if I could do it.

*laughs* You are right. I put a sudden focus on some things. Like thelace ribbon to her left ankle and her naked feed. Such as a sudden zoom-in for a short moment in a movie, or, when panning down the body, you make a sudden cut and show just that detail. For whatever reason.

In this case the point was to emphasize certain fetishes. Lace+skin = contrast. this works well for me, and obviously, judging by the amount of pictures which work with these details, also for others.
As to bare feet: Drow are a fetish race anyway. Why? Submission and Dominance, combined with violence give the view of a whole race pushed into the BDSM corner. The females rule, so we have femdom, too. The often dress scantily. Their skin is dark.
...

I thought I'd bring my own twist to it, and stick to feith themes, although myself not too strongly. I think I could rework the text to make this clear even more so, but it is enough as it is.

--
Behold the great fires consuming the forests. That is SHE.
Behold the great storms, raging in the skies. That is SHE.
Behold the earthquake, sundering man's cities. That is SHE.
Behold the great flood, consunming the land. That is SHE.
~SatinChrist:iconSatinChrist: Feb 8, 2008, 1:19:14 PM
Beautifully written.

--
-- Let the night move me, I shall forgive the embrace of my long-lost moon.--