literature

Letter to Assirra

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This text is a letter written to Assirra, from Malabeth. This is highly experimental, and the first time I actually write a virtual letter.
    DISCLAIMER: This work is purely fictional and similarities to real persons and places are accidental. This piece of ART does NOT necessarily reflect the opinions of its maker.
Everything written here is from the point of view of Malabeth.

    
    Now, how should I start this? "Dear Assirra, I found a piece of writing, called Xorlarrin records, apparently pages 2867-2870..." No. That does sound stupid. People don't just "find" stuff like this, and I suppose you know that. And it is bad, to start a letter with a lie. Especially, when I want, not to further new conflicts, but rather seek allies - or at least explain myself.
Now that is not to say I shy away from conflicts. But... of that I can talk later.
Let me start anew.

    Dear Assirra,
Due to circumstances far from natural, and not without scheming and influence from my side or those of some allies I might, or might not have, an interesting piece of a journal came into my possession. Obviously this work is called "Xorlarrin Record" and the excerpt I have in my possession and thus I was able to study, were the pages 2867 to 2870. Now, you might not be too intrigued to know that something like this fell into my hands, but I can assure you at least, that my sources are trustworthy. You have nothing to fear from them.
    Neither is it in my interest to insult or upset you - although this may well happen. Were I to do this, I'd have started this letter with a serious of insults, ranging from the primitive "Greetings, bitch" to elaborate passages, dealing with the most widespread belief of our kind, theDemonspider, and her inability to lead, and our inability to follow.
    But that is not where I want to go. I do care about whatever you may believe or may not believe, but my prime interest is building contacts. Thus I will go through your text, and give you my thoughts. And by doing this, you will learn about me.

    Let me start by telling you, where I lived, before my eyes were opened.
Like you, I came from a more or less typical Drow city. Not as great as Menzoberranzan, by far not. My city, and place of my origin was called Rembressir- the fading crystal. It was a close knit community of Drow, living under firm control of the Demonspider, or more precisely her priestesses, of who I once was one.
    Everything in our city was under the control of the priestesses, and the high priestess reigned supreme. Unlike other cities, the three houses that were present, never were a threat to the church of Lolth. If you can call that a church. There were internal struggles between the houses and between members of the houses, just as in every other city, as I know now. In the end it did not matter, for no one dared to face the wrath of high priestess Sylea.
    Oh how much I loved and adored her, how insanely I hated her and wanted her power back then!

    Oh, there was strife and betrayal, bickering and deadly intrigues among the priestesses and apprentices, too. Sylea herself returned my love and hatred as horribly as one could imagine. I was tested and tested again, for I was only of a nether family, and did not really deserve to be an apprentice in her eyes.
    
    You may wonder why I tell you that? For two things. To tell you I am still alive. To show you I am not weak, to make this clear right away. And to show you that I know and understand the terrors and rewards of the faith of theDemonspider and ultimately the society that forms under her control.
    
    I no longer follow Lolth. I do fear her vengeance, and her servants, but fear is there to warn me, and it is there to be overcome. It is only a test. So let them come. It has been a long time since I turned from her and still I live and thrive. But more of that, only if you wish to hear my story. You know now, what you must know.
And now let me get to the record I found.

    The killing of siblings, thinning out the weak blood is a common theme. One I was only not confronted with, because my path led me into the arms of Lolth's servants at a young age. That is not to say that I did not kill to advance and to survive, for it was no different among the apprentices and priestesses. You only had to act with much greater care, especially as you rose in ranks. No one cared about an apprentice losing her life during a test.
    
    However, it is something, we should be sad about. Maybe not because you lose a loved or unloved sibling and thin down your own family - after all the strongest blood survives in the end - but fewer members mean fewer strength, and in the end that may well cause a family to fall, where it could have prevailed, were not the punishments for a failure so permanent anduncorrectable.
The thing that should make one sad about all this, is that chances are wasted and talents undone before they can bloom. And that is the key point of what is wrong following theDemonspider. Personal strength is not the only thing. And to break free from the web, you need the combined effort.

    And that is why the Demonspider will never allow it. She wants you (with that I mean not necessarily you, but all of us who follow her) to be weak, to follow her on and on. And yet strong, to prevail. This contradiction causes the failure.
    
    Failure and weakness has to be shown, the weak has to submit the stronger one. But the ultimate destruction means there is no chance left to learn, and without learning and adapting the weak will not become stronger. So, punishments, vile and hard at times, is in place. But never forget what the goal in the end is. And it is not death, and it cannot be your own position. For that, you would not need to punish, but to destroy.
    
    And and now one of my favourite themes: Loves. I will not start about the love for a male, which you talk about. Love or Lust, I don't care in this context. A mere male deserves neither. I will start about love in general. Oh, yes, all who not know us well and who speak before they think, they speak ´about us being unable to love. And yet, as they say that, they only need a short moment of time to contradict themselves. We can not love, they say, but we hate with all out heart. Do they not know that, even if we would only hate, this hatred is a form of love? It is, like love, an all-consuming feeling of greatest devotion, that springs from the deepest heart, demanding, dictating a life to be lead through its throes. Now, hatred is not a good thing to live by. It is like a fire which burns much to brightly and in its burning it consumes all its nourishment faster than the tender, steady burning flame. Hatred is a corrupted, perverted form of love, and where there is the ability to hate, there is the ability to love.
to able to love, we would not hate. The Demonspider-worshippers would not meed their surface "siblings" with hatred, but with disgust maybe or a cold dislike. The path to their destruction and hunting would be guided all the more bylogic and cold calculation instead of passion.
But that is not how it is. We love, with all our heart, and dive into these desires. Often guided by lust, but this flame can spark a deeper fire, or die down into a long-warming blaze.

    But why, in the Goddess name, a mere male? The only thing those are good for, is reproduction - well and they are able to serve and maybe some of them can become partners, but not in such a close way. It may hurt you, what I say now, but... this obsession... it had to bring downfall. I will do all the things you say we should. You are a fool, obsessed with a nether creature and even now you can not let go. I guess I can not take this from you, your blindness runs to deep. As you keep on writing about one who "means more than the world" to you... I can shake my head. You can not pity me, dear. I know how it is to love someone more than the world, but I look for Her with this love, and devote my life to.
But no, let me not proselytize here. This is not the right place for this. I dare say, alone for this obsession I would wish to meet you, to see what kind of person can speak such great truth in a few lines of text followed by such great folly the next moment.

    I have loved others than Her in my past, too. SHE may be the one I devote all my life to, but I am no goddess, and thus I have desires and needs in this world, only another living my fulfill. And it was good to feel save for a time. My loves were lost to me, when I fled the fading crystal. Most were taken by the spider's servants, priestesses and warriors. The others died on the flight that lead us far away. I learned then the meaning of pain and loss, and how love and loss make you stronger even. The path you follow is a wrong one, you have to let the past go. Yet you should not close your heart, for in time, if you build walls around you, these walls will be torn down and the stones may shatter you.
The pain is a part of our existence, as is the joy of sharing your life, maybe for a moment, and maybe forever. And maybe it is only the pain that stays...

    There is a last thing to say. It may seem bold, and I am maybe inviting your assassins to my home by writing these lines, these lines, of which I maybe never know if they will ever reach you. Do not pity theDrow who stumble along their erroneous way. Stretch out a helping hand. They can not escape from the tangled web alone. Our destiny is far greater than only serving theDemonspider and, were it not for her, bring destruction first and foremost unto ourselves. We are, if you so want a holy race, forged by endless trials, terror and desires. Through our devotion we survived this far. Now it is time to realize, that after taking a first step, a second and third must follow. stretch out your hands, and we can see more than just the cursed spider.
    
    If you want, I can show you more. Here is my hand. I may lose it in the process, but I am willing to pay. If you still serve the Demonspider.... Once shall I mention the name: Lolth, I will by now have ignited your greatest anger. Beware though. With Her guidance we are a force and nature, and as I said: We do not rely on the strength of one. Many arms welcome or deny. Here is my hand for a welcome.
Assirra is (c) by :iconartheeria:
Malabeth is (c) by me.

This work is a letter from Malabeth to Assirra, without Malabeth knowing more than Xorlarrin Record: pg 2867-2870 :thumb62232676: .

Her interests were sparked by what she read there, and as she keeps her eyes open even outside her own little community, this fell into her hands. Maybe this will mean a new enemy is found, maybe a friend, and maybe, there are "just" new things to learn.

I hope it displays a little, yet not too much of Malabeth's way of thinking, and why she does so...
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Artheeria's avatar
I adore you! :glomp: This was a BEAUTIFUL letter, and Malabeth shall get her response rather soon. Even now, Assirra is preparing her own letter. *grins* I can't wait. Thank you SO much!